Yoni Steaming with Mama Oshun

Hola Familia,

I wanted to carve out a little space for yoni steaming experiences. 

I steamed this past weekend as part of an Oshun ritual led by my friend Jaguar Womban and I included the below herbs:

Calendula, Marigold, Yellow rose, Damiana, Red Raspberry Leaf, Blue Lotus, Pink Himalayan Sea Salt

Oshun devotion is deeply interwoven with my Cuban ancestry and recently my mom had a ceremony with a Cuban Medicine Woman and she said to her "Tu hija es hija de la Caridad del Cobre", "your daughter is the daughter of La Caridad del Cobre" which is the patron saint of Cuba, and was used as a "facade/cover" to hide Oshun devotion within the Afro-Cuban community from the Spaniards during colonization. Been really navigating this dynamic of being both the colonized and the colonizer, and how those two came together violently to create future generations. Although I am Cuban and Venezuelan, my DNA is a mixture of Indigenous, African, and Spaniard and I'm navigating how those generations of integrating bloodlines affects how I show up in the world. Phew... thats a larger conversation for later.

In proper Oshun, river form, I spilled my first two bowls of burning hot yoni steam on my feet while squatting over them. This is particularly symbolic because whenever I journey and my ancestors come up in the spirit world I wash their feet with river water. I surrendered into whatever part of myself was resisting and causing the spill and after doing so the third cup stayed still. It felt really good to squat, primal, familiar, necessary, and I preferred it to a stool I have (which I'm now getting rid of). I had visions of past lives birthing while squatting. 

Post steam my womb swelled a bit and I could feel the moisture of the steam exiting my vagina throughout the night. It was an interesting sensation because my mind saw it as wetness in the form of sexual arousal but my body knew it was the wetness of clearing. I had some minor aches in my womb space, almost like mild menstrual cramps. I made a list of all of the sexual partners in this lifetime, as well as any known sexual offenders that have invaded the women in my family and I gave it to the fire, burning it and watching it until it turned to dust. 

That night I had a very emotional, raw, open conversation with my partner and the future of our relationship. We talked through needs, commitments, recommitments and more. The next morning I had a complete breakdown, we spoke again, this time more vulnerably about how we have wounded each other and cried many tears. He was leaving that day to spend time with his mom for a week and the moment before he left the house I had overwhelming waves of abandonment come over me. Waves I hadn't experienced since childhood/teenage years. I cried on and off the whole day acknowledging what was most present and alive and letting that rise. 

Finally two days later the storm passed, I spoke to my mom at length about my experience. She said to me "Every important male figure in your life has left you in the past, and that may be true, but its up to you to accept that you can break that cycle now and change it for the present and future." Sigh, moms.... always blunt with the obsidian dagger medicine. She's right, that part of my story is deep and interwoven across many generations. One of the many medicines I work actively with to dismantle.

Today I am happily sitting alone in my house grateful for this storm that came through and washed me clean from the inside. The heavy emotions have passed and I feel as though I released so much from one steam. My partner and I are actively working through this with lots of love and patience and gratitude for time and space apart but mostly I am feeling so much more confident in myself to know that I will be okay, held, and taken care of no matter what happens.

Gracias Jaguar, Gracias Plantitas, Gracias Mama Oshun.

Love to you xx